When John came home and told me this, I had to check it out for myself. It's true--read it here. The DNC is meeting in Colorado and has issued a few food guidelines, banning fried foods and at least one caterer reported pineapples were also a no-no. Pineapples, it seems, leaves too large a carbon footprint getting them from Hawaii to here.
Leaves a few Hawaiians feeling a little angry to say the least. Last time I checked, they were part of the United States...this is a major export for Hawaii. And not only that--pineapples are just darn tasty! I think to appease angry Hawaiian voters at this point, a way to get them here without adding extra carbon footprints can be found. How, though? Wait! I have an idea, we can double up...does anyone have Al's number?
As for the Southerners, I can't help you there. We can get the pineapples here on a private jet, but I just don't know how to take unhealthy out of fried food. So you can't have them. Because, while you might be an adult fatty (clearly you don't know how to take care of yourself and exercise self control) you AREN'T THE BOSS OF YOU! So...yeah. No fried food for you.