Apr 6, 2008

Hope For A Gen-X Girl Married To A Baby Boomer Boy

It's here! My turn at the Generation NeXt Marriage blog tour has arrived. Reading this book has evoked many feelings: sadness, guilt, excitement, hope and so many others.

I took a chapter that hit close to home (they all did, it was hard choosing ). In Chapter 7, Against All Odds/Media Matters, Tricia hit on some issues that I struggle with. She uses Psalm 101:3 in making a point here: "I will set before my eyes no vile thing". I wish! While I watched less television now than ever, I know the impact of the television shows I watched reaches far into my childhood and encompasses my marriage even now. In an email interview with Tricia, I asked this:

TV was where I gleaned a large part of my “worldly experience”. Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Three’s Company and even soap operas. It gave me a very unrealistic view of adult life but compared to my parents’ distant marriage, was so appealing. I believed what I watched was how the real, normal world lived. Have you found this as well? If so, how have these unrealistic relationships impacted our marriages?

Tricia's response:

I completely agree that this "pretend" relationships molded our thinking. I remember as a young teen being fascinated by Bo and Hope's love affair on Days of Our Lives. They slept together--I thought that's how you showed love! And ... then I did that in my relationships only to find myself heartbroken.

During our formative years it was hard for us to separate reality from television drama. I found myself acting very dramatic over little stuff. I also expected John to act like those romantic guys on television. Forget the fact they are PAID actors who have scriptwriting telling them what to say and directors telling them how to act.

I really helped me to "think through" my expectations.

1. Where did I get ideas from?
2. Are they realistic?
3. What SHOULD my expectations be?
4. How can God help me?

I found that asking God go back and do some "spring cleaning" on all those influences really helped. Life is not drama ... and thank goodness for that!
Asking God to do a spring cleaning of the influences in our lives! I hadn't thought of it that way, and I like it. I always imagined when I was married, I'd wake up in my penthouse apartment, head to my job as a hotel manager (loved that show!). When I got home (still looking as good as when I woke up with all my makeup on) we'd have a martini and head for our vacation. We flew in a little private plane to our secluded island where...well, you know, it's just a fantasy. And while I exaggerate a little, I honestly did think it would be magical all the time.

In this book, Tricia touches on all the biggies, arguing, money, past relationships (ohh the baggage we bring), just to mention a few. Throughout the book she keeps it real, and doesn't tell her readers she has the cure. Each chapter begins with an 80s song, you gotta love that! I couldn't not ask her...which was her favorite? Rick Astley's "Whenever You Need Somebody".

If you haven't already, be sure and click the button on my sidebar, it'll take you to my post with the giveaway. She's letting me give away two of her books, Generation NeXt Marriage and Generation NeXt Parenting--just leave a comment and you're in.

It's not over, oh no. There's more! Tricia wants to hear your stories. How did you meet your husband? Do you have a picture to share? If yes, head over to Love, Gen X Style and fill her in. She'll not only print it on her blog, but the winning story will be published on her newsletter AND you and hubby will be be treated to a dinner for two at a restaurant you pick, up to $50.


Angela Williams Duea said...

Fantastic post! It's ture, the shows I watched as a kid (and the fairy tales, too) shaped a lot of my expectations about marriage. I love the idea of letting God spring-clean the influences in your life.

david mcmahon said...

Hi Stacey,

In answer to your query, I choose Post of the Day every weekday - and my readers are encouraged to nominate any posts as well.



Midlife Mom said...

I think that soap operas are one of the worst things that influence our society. I watched them too as a young bride those many years ago and it was such a waste of time. I too had a false impression of what marriage should be. Thankfully I came to my senses and have not watched them for 30 years. I still remember Luke and Laura though! She lives near here now! ha!

Jenny 865-53oh9 said...

I STILL live in la-la land. What do I have to do to get J to buy me my own island?!?! I gave him 2 of the 6 children he wanted, and of course, stayed a size 0 throughout it all. I mean, GAH!

Rita said...

So, what are the Gen X problems with being married to a Baby Boomer? You didn't cover what was in your headline.


I write a blog for boomer consumers called The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide at http://boomersurvive-thriveguide.typepad.com.

P.S. I'd appreciate no music when I visit your site.

Stacey said...

Ummm, Rita, thanks for the helpful critique---I'd appreciate when visitors come to my site they remember this is my site. Not yours. :) You may want to find another site in which to frequent, I'm like that.

Jenny 865-53oh9 said...

WHAT!? Ok, Rita, not that I need to back up my girl cause she's already got it going on, but...

If you don't want to hear the music when you come here, then turn your speakers off. It's one of the things that Stacey is known for and we love it!

Surely you're not one of those kind of people who goes into someone's home and starts telling them everything that they're doing wrong....so don't do it to other people's blogs.

Stop giving Baby-boomers a bad name!

Mrs. C said...

Nyah nyah blah blah TROLL and a haughty critique.

PS. Stacey, change your hairstyle, too. I'd appreciate no brunettes when I come to your site.

Cathi said...

Stacey, what's with the "disgruntled" people and their comments?!?!?
Girl...you need to moderate your comments to keep the riff raff out!
The riff raff needs to figure out what's wrong in their life to make them so grumpy and "bossy" too!
Just my thoughts. :)