Jul 29, 2007

Drive, Moon River!

I'm going north to give flowers to Jamee today (tomorrow if you read this Sunday evening; I wanted to be sure I had it done before leaving). The flowers are actually regifted. John brought me 12 red and 1 yellow Friday. The red, love. Why one yellow, I asked him. He said that was friendship. Love that man. He also thought Jamee would like that he bought her flowers, so roses it will be!

I don't really want to celebrate the anniversary of her death, but I can't bring myself to not go up on this day each year. Not yet. Maybe never, who knows.

I brought up another favorite high school picture of us. I don't have access to a lot of other pictures of Jamee, so the ones I have are golden. Jamee's in the center, I'm hanging onto her right hand (and clearly chatting with my fellow cheerleader, not looking where I'm supposed to be!). Very appropriate I think, lol. Even now, I hold onto Jamee and I think about what she'd advise. And just as I did all those years, I still sometimes do it my way and WISH I'd done hers!

I couldn't decide which song to put up, so I put two up. Jamee loved Rick Ocasek of The Cars (eww, why?). I also added Moon River. She knows why; I'll give you a condensed version:
Her last few days were spent in the hospital in pain. I was alone with her that first night (Andy had been up two days straight). I spent a great deal of time rubbing her head, holding her hand, praying for a miracle. As the night closed in and she was as comfortable as was possible (not very..the pain was excruciating), I wanted to sing a song to soothe her, and probably me, too, idk.
Hence Moon River. It was the only song that came to mind. Yeah, I know! Me. Stacey, song for EVERY occasion Stacey. I know all the words to all cool songs. And just when I needed one....Moon River? I don't know why. But it was what God placed into my heart that night and I sang despite it all! Pretty sure Jamee's up there with Dad making fun of me--big. I'm strong, I can take it! Without laughter, the rest of my days without them wouldn't be okay. And PS--how do you like my yellow gloves? Who decided 'aha! yellow gloves with the navy and white dress!'?

Edit: I have the most amazing friend on the blogosphere! I do! And one of them has just posted the most beautiful tribute to Jamee's life. I hope you get the chance to read this then go on over to Cheryl's blog. Thanks Cheryl!

16 Comments:

Girl Gone Wild said...

Ah...Stacey... The Moon River thing is sweet yet hilarious all at once. How do you do that?

Was coming over to cry on your shoulder on the lack of won prizes (NONE!), but I think I'll pull my big-girl panties up and give you a hug instead.

Cheryl said...

Stacey, I'm sure this is a very hard time for you. I'm sorry for your loss, but through your writings, I celebrate Jamee's life with you. She certainly was a good sister and had a huge impact on you. You only got to have her for a season, but what a season it was! Blessings to you.

JaniceNW said...

It's not celebrating the anniversary of her death, it's commemorating it. We used to let balloons fly up to Brennan on his birthday into heaven anniversary. The boys loved doing that.

Lots of hugs.

Girl Gone Wild said...

You know...I've met quite a number of quick-witted people in my day, but DANG! You take it the cake, chicky-mama! :-P Now listen here...don't you go taken ALL the prizes...I have a brother with a mean tongue and he gives wet-willies a whole new name!

Oh THAT'S what Nicoal means?! I figured it was your middle name...

Sharon said...

{{{hug, hug, hug}}}
Sometimes these work so much better than words. So sweet what you had with Jamee while she was here and so sweet how you celebrate her life and share her with us through your writing. xo Sharon

D... said...

{{Stacey}} I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I happen to think Moon River is perfect. And I bet Jamee did too.

Cheryl said...

Stacey, I left something for you at my blog. Thinking of you today.

Stacey said...

Y'all have GOT to go over to Chery'ls and see this, it'll blow your socks off. Thanks, Cheryl, I'm humbled, greatful for you and very touched.

http://www.mcclureconnections.com/blog/

Cat said...

((HUGS)) girlfriend, I am thinking of you and Jamee today! I feel like I know her through you! I still think you and I need to go get Tattoos you can get your Jaybird!!!

Love you girl friend!

pinks & blues girls said...

Stacey, you are on my mind and in my heart today. You are keeping Jamee's spirit alive in so many beautiful ways. I am honored that I have the chance to know her through your blog - all the stories and pictures and laughter you shared.

Jane, P&B Girls

Katja from skimbaco.com said...

Hugs Stacey!
I'm sure it's a hard day. You are such an amazing person for doing this blog for Jamee's memory and letting us to know her.

Katja from Skimbaco

ps. I love the yellow gloves, and the dresses are very chic.

Pinks & Blues Girls said...

You have pulled my heart Stac... I just really really felt some tugs at my heart and my eyes well up. You are such a beautiful person and so devoted to your sister and your family. Bless you and Jamee always... I am so glad to have met you among my blog friends... I"m a better person because of it.
xo,
- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls

Bubba's Sis said...

I'm wiping away tears. Hugs to you, Stacey Girl - you are in my thoughts today, as well.

Funky Art Queen said...

Oh sweetie. There is no love like a sisters love. She waits for you in heaven. You are precious! I'm thinking of you right now.

Katja from skimbaco.com said...

Stacey, you just keep amazing me with your spirit!
I'm glad to hear you're ok. I'm with Audrey, I'm so glad I "met" you!

Katja

Stacy said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. Yes I do believe it's where all the Stacy's go. And your the one who is spelling it wrong. Sorry it took me so long I just haven't been on in several month. I love reading your blog. I know that life is hard but at least you are surviving and trying to make the best of everyday.