Drive, Moon River!

I'm going north to give flowers to Jamee today (tomorrow if you read this Sunday evening; I wanted to be sure I had it done before leaving). The flowers are actually regifted. John brought me 12 red and 1 yellow Friday. The red, love. Why one yellow, I asked him. He said that was friendship. Love that man. He also thought Jamee would like that he bought her flowers, so roses it will be!

I don't really want to celebrate the anniversary of her death, but I can't bring myself to not go up on this day each year. Not yet. Maybe never, who knows.

I brought up another favorite high school picture of us. I don't have access to a lot of other pictures of Jamee, so the ones I have are golden. Jamee's in the center, I'm hanging onto her right hand (and clearly chatting with my fellow cheerleader, not looking where I'm supposed to be!). Very appropriate I think, lol. Even now, I hold onto Jamee and I think about what she'd advise. And just as I did all those years, I still sometimes do it my way and WISH I'd done hers!

I couldn't decide which song to put up, so I put two up. Jamee loved Rick Ocasek of The Cars (eww, why?). I also added Moon River. She knows why; I'll give you a condensed version:

Her last few days were spent in the hospital in pain. I was alone with her that first night (Andy had been up two days straight). I spent a great deal of time rubbing her head, holding her hand, praying for a miracle. As the night closed in and she was as comfortable as was possible (not very..the pain was excruciating), I wanted to sing a song to soothe her, and probably me, too, idk.

Hence Moon River. It was the only song that came to mind. Yeah, I know! Me. Stacey, song for EVERY occasion Stacey. I know all the words to all cool songs. And just when I needed one....Moon River? I don't know why. But it was what God placed into my heart that night and I sang despite it all! Pretty sure Jamee's up there with Dad making fun of me--big. I'm strong, I can take it! Without laughter, the rest of my days without them wouldn't be okay. And PS--how do you like my yellow gloves? Who decided 'aha! yellow gloves with the navy and white dress!'?

Edit: I have the most amazing friend on the blogosphere! I do! And one of them has just posted the most beautiful tribute to Jamee's life. I hope you get the chance to read this then go on over to Cheryl's blog. Thanks Cheryl!