I Really REALLY Want a Sham Wow

You know, he's been saying it every day over and over and I do not understand why people don't get it and I don't get why he doesn't just stop trying to please everyone! I am serious--we knew he couldn't do this all day and yet we force him to keep peddling his goods day in, day out, expecting the same deal (bogof).

I'm talking about Vince and his amazing Sham Wow! I wanted a Sham Wow for Christmas. I took the rug from in front of the shower and replaced it with a little dishcloth, because I'm pretty sure John wants a Sham Wow bath mat like I do. I'd go one step farther than Vince, though. I want a Sham Wow door mat and a Sham Wow runner in the entry.

I want a Sham Wow. I want to sop up all of Louie's piddle with just ONE square of Sham Wow and STILL have enough absorption in it to move onto the counter tops. I think it would be FUN to flip my Sham Wow up and over spills and small ponds, wringing out all the liquid that would have been left in my carpet but instead was squeezed onto my counter top. And while I do that, I want to talk across the counter to John with my little microphone over my head. Because a little microphone just makes sense on Vince, so why shouldn't I have one? I didn't get a Sham Wow for Christmas, but my anniversary is coming up. But still--he can't keep giving that great offer all day. I hope John acts soon.

If you just don't know what to say about this, then just give me your best Sham Wow.