Bittersweet Symphony--But I CAN Change

I'm going to take a leave from my data entry work--maybe for a few months, maybe forever. I'm not sure how it'll go, but I do know while I don't work terribly hard at it, it's turned into 'my straw' most nights. I've lost a lot of sleep because I tend to put everything else ahead of my work. I'm pretty excited just thinking about this summer--I won't be teaching much and I won't be keying all night long. I'm still doing the digi work, but that's not work for me, lol.

Miracle Word is still going well, I'm finally getting caught up with reading. The CBF assembly in Memphis is quickly approaching (click it, click it! I'm there--that'll never happen again!). I went to the meeting at church last night (30 minutes late, that looked very good for me, the promotion girl, to have no clue!). I'm so excited about this trip--it's just Alex and myself going...we leave the 15th of June and stay six nights. Three of those nights will be spent doing some missional work, and I'm hoping we get to go to the nursing home event, that'd be me where I'm most comfortable.

I called JenGi and asked her to come with, hopefully she and the boys can get away. She'd be an amazing advocate for MW, not to mention the trouble she, Debbie, (not I) will find. John's not able to go because he'll fly to Virginia that next week for my niece's wedding. So I'm bringing Alex and we're calling it a little after-school breakaway! Can you tell we need one?

Reading through Job over the past several weeks, one tends to think about things. Lots of things. And it brings me around to this--trials. I don't know why we have trials in our lives...and I don't know why some people tend to have bigger trials than others. It doesn't make much sense to me now, but does it need to? Honestly, it's easier for me if I don't think about it terribly much. If I zoned in a little more narrowly, spoke about trials, it brings me to this: I've wronged others and I've been wronged. Terribly wronged in some instances. To focus on those specific wrongs would tear my life apart at the seams. To focus on the people I've hurt would do the same, even more so.

I know people who have gone through far more than I have. I know people who have made unthinkable choices, and I know people who may never want to see what they've done has hurt someone else. And sometimes it's not intentional, it just is. I know I'm straying a little from what the book of Job taught me, but I never said my thought process made sense, lol. But I was thinking a lot about it lately. If I'm nothing else, I'm definitely loyal. If I love you once, I love you forever, you'll be my friend for life. And when I see a friend hurting, when I see a friend has been hurt, whose life maybe isn't on track because of someone else's actions, my instinct is to get angry and lash out at whoever hurt my friend. But I'm commanded to forgive others who wrong me, so why do I do this? It's not my place to hold onto anger when someone else has been hurt, when someone has deceived my friends, when someone physically hurts my friends.

There's a point, I'm working on it. I need to practice walking a fine line--being a good and supportive friend and not being a judgmental person. And I will pray for others first--that they do the right thing, that they make things right. I'm not speaking from any specific circumstance, it's just something I've been running through my head these past few weeks. I think reading the bible like this has put perspective on things I hadn't been able to perspectivise myself. (I know it's not a word, but it should be!)