Feb 13, 2008

What HAVE I Been Up To?

Niki has come back home, and while we're very glad to have her home, we also know it may not last. For some reason, it does feel a little better this time, so I'm praying this is final. She's making some good decisions about the people she hangs out with, and many of them on her own, so we're cautiously optimistic. More optimistic than not, though. But cautious.
We did get some bad news from the school--she won't graduate with her class this year, there have been too many absences and she can't possibly catch up so quickly. So....John and I are taking it in stride and told Niki she could go back for a semester in the Fall. She didn't like it, but she also accepts that this is a consequece of her decisions. So....if she chooses not to do that, she'll get her GED and start community college in the Fall. We told her from that point, so long as she makes good choices and keeps her grades up, she can still do just about anything she wants to do with her life. Of all the things we've been scared silly about these past three months, that really is the least of our worries--she can overcome that. She'll always regret it, but again, that's a consequence.

She's in the kitchen making cookies for Valentines Day (Happy VDay, btw), something she hasn't done in ages (baking). And she actually asked to come to church with us tonight--and I love how my true friends, the family that loves her dearly, welcomed her back again with hugs. I have a few friends who, for some reason, don't seem happy she's turning around, but I figure that's not my problem. Life probably isn't going so great for people like that and honestly, I'm just not able to care about their meanie people issues as much as I used to. One of the things I've learned through this process is that I don't have time to get worked up about things I can't change, and that's an example of that. Be devastated when your child is failing and she's your biggest cheerleader. See your child turning around and she's throwing her pom poms in the corner. But what surprised me most is that while I noted it and while I'm taking time to write this, I'm not terribly worked up about it. Now that revelation feels good, in a detached sort of way!

Anyway....tomorrow I take Alex to the movies. He doesn't want to go to school, but he wants the Valentine's party. So we decided cupcakes and a movie would be the next best thing. Niki's going to collect job applications and Cody has a job interview. He's very nervous, say a prayer for him if you think of it. He's interviewing with a regional pool management company to lifeguard the area pools. He hopes to get on at the Parks and Rec pools as well as some of the neighborhood pools, possibly ours. They'll certify him as well--but he lives in the water, that shouldn't be a problem. I'll let you know.

I've been busy in the mornings doing a strict workout program at a local spa, I'll tell you all about it in a few days. You'll probably think I'm whack. But hey, results, baby, so really do.not.care. I've lost two inches in my waist, on around my hips and one one each thigh. AND.....I'm feeling amazingly energized and I actually think I'll supplement that with a workout on my rowing machine now. It's not a lot of progress, but for two weeks, I have a little hope those old capris and shorts just might fit mid-Spring. Curious, aren't ya? No worries, I'm going to tell you, just...not....tonight! Muahahahahahaha!



PS--I love remixes of my favorite songs....it kinda gives me an excuse to be my retro self!

16 Comments:

david mcmahon said...

As a parent, I know Nikki will find the path that is perfect for her, even if it takes a little guidance.

Have a lovely Valentine's Day ....

Bubba's Sis said...

Happy Valentine's Day, my friend! xoxo What better gift of love than to have Niki back. I hope things stay good....

Love ya!

kailani said...

Being a parent is so hard. I have to say that I'm not looking forward to when my daughters get older. Hope everything works out for her!

Terence Chang said...

Happy Valentine's Day. I am glad that she is back.

I think it's part of growing pain. We all need to learn how to deal with our life. Parents can only lead us so far. We have to find out way to our happiness.

Just wondering if you received my email about my new the happiest blog project.

Love your smiles ...

Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You said...

OOooh Stacey, I'm so happy she's home! I'm happy for you & John, too - I simply cannot fathom the kind of stress and anxiety this has caused you, but there you are, smiling! I hope she continues to make good choices and I know you'll be there to support her :)

Happy Valentine's Day and good luck to Cody!

PS - I have come to believe that the only way you KNOW your friends are true is when they react in your dark times.

Donna said...

I'm glad Nikki is back with you. One day at a time.

D... said...

What a wonderful Valentine's for you. You are so right, not graduating with her class is small potatos to what could have been. She has choices and she has consequences. Sounds like a good life lesson learned, albeit the hard way. I am cautiously optimistic for you!!

Good luck to Cody on his interview! Keep us posted! Enjoy your movie and cupcakes with Alex. Already it's sounding like a day filled with love for you! Love you!

And, yes, I'm quite curious....

Yikes, I'm running late for school. Tah!

Shana said...

Stacey, I am so happy to hear that things are looking up with Niki! Things do sound very positive!

Laura said...

So glad the girl is home...and there is progress! I am with you on the work-out thing...headed there as soon as the hubby gets home to crack the whip!

Eileen said...

Stacey,
Happy Valentines Day, my sweet friend! Having Niki home, in the kitchen baking cookies must make it extra, extra sweet!

It is wonderful that she went to church with you. Great attitude on the people who were....not so kind. That is their issue, not yours. Like you said, you can't control them, but you can control how you respond to them. Don't respond. Unhappy people, don't like to see other people happy. Period. They just don't matter, in the big picture. The only thing that matters, besides God, is your family. Don't let jerks, sorry, but I call it like I see it, add to your stress or loose focus on what is really important.

School will work itself out. It may not be how you all thought it would be, but it will work out, the way it was meant to be. She is a smart girl, with a good head on her shoulders. You raised her well. With the strong foundation you gave her, she will end up on the right path, despite some teenage bumps. This I know for sure. Doesn't make it any less painful for you, while your living it, but trust in God, and trust in the wonderful foundation of love and values you gave her. That does not go away, and that is why she keeps ending up, back home.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. And good for you for your secret workout program. I'm jealous!! I need to get off my butt!
XOXOXOX

Katja of skimbaco.com said...

Happy Valentine's Day!
I wish all the best for Niki, things will work out in a way or another!!

Curiosity Killer said...

Happy V-day Stacey! To you and your lovely family!

Misty Dawn said...

I pray for you, John, Nikki and the whole crew every night.

I wanna know how Cody's interview went!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, my friend - I LOVE YA BUNCHES!

Trinity said...

Stacey dear, I always pray for you, and your family, especially Nikki... being parents is never be easy indeed... may your faith grow each day in Him... may God gives you wisdom, patient, love to raise the children... may God's strength be with you every day... I am sure God always protects your children as well...

Jim & Jami said...

still praying!

Mrs. C said...

((Stacey))

I saw this post awhile back and I've been thinking and thinking of you guys. I came very close to just typing everything I thought right off the top of my head and I'd have called your ex-friends donkeybutts and worse... so... I just went away to cool off first. Please don't attribute that to lack of support. It's just that when I type, I like for most of the words I write to have more than four letters. Sometimes I go for a sense of coherency as well.

It so totally... "stinks" ... when friends bail like that. I just keep coming back to two really important facts:

1. Niki is an ADULT so she's gonna make her own choices. Good grief you are *awesome* at being realistic about this and yet supporting her whenever she does right. Six extra months for a high school diploma in the whole scheme of things is nothin, ya know?? Birdie just has a bumpy first flight out of the nest.

2. No matter what she's still your child so people oughtta shut up if they don't have anything nice or constructive to say.

I'm shutting up now because if I keep talking, I won't have much nice or constructive to say about people who can't be real friends. I KNOW what that feels like.

OK I'm really shutting up now. Really. PS. GL with the haircut tommorry!