Nov 17, 2007

Snake Charming School

Yesterday, Alex and I were taking a break from school; he headed downstairs to play his game. I picked up the phone to phone my friend Kristy, to take up our conversation where we left off (remember? me on my face in the road).

Just when we're getting to the good part and setting a date for a meeting with the Women's Ministry, Alex comes upstairs animated and telling me there's something in the basement! What? What did you say? Ohhhhh...."Kristy, need to run, there's a snake in the basement." Of course. They come into everyone's houses, right?

I go down, inspect, then call John, describe the snake as I try valiantly to keep Jack the cat from putting it in his little mouth. I don't have a photo of the snake itself--if I did then I wouldn't have been very afraid now, would I? I always wonder about that, folks who photograph horrible things as they happen. What's tickin there? This is a good likeness of what I found as I remember:I described it to John, okay okay, it's not a Cobra. Apparently it's a garter snake, about 6" or so long. And apparently it's harmless but do. not. care. I don't care that it's afraid. I don't care that snakes really aren't slimy, and I don't really care if they are good for the ecosystem. I dislike snakes and I like it like that!

How it got there is a mystery I may not want solved. I'm thinking toilet drain, and that ruines a lot of night dashes for me. Let's just say lights will be turned on.

It was just the two of us. I look hopefully over at Alex, he's a boy, he'll love this job! He's looking at me like I'm the smartest, bravest mommy in the world. Heck yeah I am! There's nothing left to do but send him up for the kitchen tongs. I lift the snake like I'm scooping spaghetti noodles, John on the line just in case I get bitten and the venom spreads too quickly for Alex to react. I could lose my ability to move, my breathing might shut down, and I'd likely die right there next to the sliding glass doors. I don't wanna die next to the sliding glass doors, they're not cleaned.

So eww eww eww ewww, Alex opens the door, I run onto the patio, through the yard, snake tongs well to the front of me, mindful that I've slipped and fallen face first in the not-so-distant past. Wouldn't that be the way? I get to my destination and deposit him into the leaves as far away as I could go without angering a neighbor should they be watching me. I'd rather fling it into another yard, but that's rude. Right? Running and dry-heaving I get back, hand the tongs to Alex, with instructions to throw them away! Spaghetti tongs, snake tongs. Awww now tongs and spaghetti are ruined forever!

Tonight was family bowling night. Even with a bum arm (which is better), I took it for the fam. It was one of our better family fun nights of late. I didn't do half bad. Which means half gutters, half not gutters! Pictures soon. But now, I'm worn out. Tomorrow is our family Thanksgiving and I need to drag myself outta bed before noon!

14 Comments:

Donna said...

When we were touring the Bothwell Lodge last weekend near Sedalia, there was a huge black snake hanging out in the basement; the guide walked right past him and didn't notice, but I guess it's a common sight. I took pictures. After all, I owe that to the readers of my blog. It helps that I'm a country gal; although I don't want to get TOO up-close-and-personal with a snake, you understand. Just close enough for a picture. Using the zoom feature.

Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You said...

Wow - great job! I'd have been totally flipping! LOL You rock!

Sharon said...

Whoa, you are one brave mommy! He's gonna be bragging on you to all his buddies for a long time!

I would've freaked out - I hate snakes. Even pictures of snakes bring back the memory of being forced to hold a snake in seventh grade science class in order to pass the class. Eeeew, it was creepy.

Girl Gone Wild - BibleStyle said...

I've never ran across a snake in my house but we have brown recluse spiders all the time! I feel about spiders like you do about snakes...a little green around the gill.

Can't wait to see the pics of family night!

D... said...

Wow, I'm in awe of you and your snake wrangling skillz. You ARE the woman! So happy you didn't die by the sliding glass doors.

Bubba's Sis said...

Wow - your snake story is better than mine! I love the dry heaving part! You crack me up, Stacey-Girl!

You shoulda killed him and made boots out of him.

Misty Dawn said...

Oh I can just picture you running through the yard with a snake in your tongs! Thanks for the laugh.
You really should stop over at my blog for the awards ceremony - you won't be disappointed!

The Homeschool and Etc. Blog said...

Aw, it's just not your week Stacey. Next week has to be better eh??

I think you should have had pictures of this event. You could use tongs in one hand and camera in the other next time LOL!! All we ever get here in our basement are earthworms, which are gross enough. Tongs would just smoosh 'em and the worms stick to the carpet. Nuff said.

Mrs. C

The Homeschool and Etc. Blog said...

PS I added you to my bloggy list!

tegdirb92 said...

aaah, I want a real picture of that snake ☺ Family bowling sounds like so much fun!! I am so looking forward to seeing pictures of you tackling those pins!!

Eileen said...

You are my hero! I would have check into a hotel until the house was DE-SNAKED (not a word, I know). I hate, hate, hate snakes. Back when I lived in Tennessee, there was so many snakes, and so many were the ones that can harm you. To me a snake is a snake, and I want to be as far away as possible. Yeah, for you, such a good mom.

Cheryl said...

Eeeewwww! A snake outside is bad enough, but in the HOUSE?? Creeeeepy. You are one brave gal. But then, we do what we have to to protect our kiddos, right? GOOD JOB! (I too have a mental image of you running across the yard carrying a snake in your tongs.... hee hee.) Quick thinking--I don't think I would have thought to do that. My dad used to get dead fish out of the aquarium with tongs--old ones, of course. As Alton Brown says on "Good Eats", if it only does one thing, you don't need it in your kitchen!

it's me, Val said...

Ewww ewww ewww ewwww ewwwwwww!!

Kelly said...

Good lord! I hate snakes, too. Living in the country was horrible for me...snakes every where. I can't believe you had one in your house. I've always sworn, since moving from the country, if I find a snake in my house, I'm moving!

You did the right thing taking it out. I would have stood with a shovel and hacked it to death or shot it four or five times until it didn't move any more, had holes in the floor, etc. How's that for your liberal, pacifist, Buddha-loving friend! Yeah, trailer park Kelly comes out in situations like this!

Love ya.