Snake Charming School

Yesterday, Alex and I were taking a break from school; he headed downstairs to play his game. I picked up the phone to phone my friend Kristy, to take up our conversation where we left off (remember? me on my face in the road).

Just when we're getting to the good part and setting a date for a meeting with the Women's Ministry, Alex comes upstairs animated and telling me there's something in the basement! What? What did you say? Ohhhhh...."Kristy, need to run, there's a snake in the basement." Of course. They come into everyone's houses, right?

I go down, inspect, then call John, describe the snake as I try valiantly to keep Jack the cat from putting it in his little mouth. I don't have a photo of the snake itself--if I did then I wouldn't have been very afraid now, would I? I always wonder about that, folks who photograph horrible things as they happen. What's tickin there? This is a good likeness of what I found as I remember:I described it to John, okay okay, it's not a Cobra. Apparently it's a garter snake, about 6" or so long. And apparently it's harmless but do. not. care. I don't care that it's afraid. I don't care that snakes really aren't slimy, and I don't really care if they are good for the ecosystem. I dislike snakes and I like it like that!

How it got there is a mystery I may not want solved. I'm thinking toilet drain, and that ruines a lot of night dashes for me. Let's just say lights will be turned on.

It was just the two of us. I look hopefully over at Alex, he's a boy, he'll love this job! He's looking at me like I'm the smartest, bravest mommy in the world. Heck yeah I am! There's nothing left to do but send him up for the kitchen tongs. I lift the snake like I'm scooping spaghetti noodles, John on the line just in case I get bitten and the venom spreads too quickly for Alex to react. I could lose my ability to move, my breathing might shut down, and I'd likely die right there next to the sliding glass doors. I don't wanna die next to the sliding glass doors, they're not cleaned.

So eww eww eww ewww, Alex opens the door, I run onto the patio, through the yard, snake tongs well to the front of me, mindful that I've slipped and fallen face first in the not-so-distant past. Wouldn't that be the way? I get to my destination and deposit him into the leaves as far away as I could go without angering a neighbor should they be watching me. I'd rather fling it into another yard, but that's rude. Right? Running and dry-heaving I get back, hand the tongs to Alex, with instructions to throw them away! Spaghetti tongs, snake tongs. Awww now tongs and spaghetti are ruined forever!

Tonight was family bowling night. Even with a bum arm (which is better), I took it for the fam. It was one of our better family fun nights of late. I didn't do half bad. Which means half gutters, half not gutters! Pictures soon. But now, I'm worn out. Tomorrow is our family Thanksgiving and I need to drag myself outta bed before noon!