Oct 20, 2007

Does Saying No Make The Yes More? I Think So....

My friend Surjit posted about something near and dear to all of us, but especially to mommies and wives. He spoke of the word no and I'll try to put his words into my own the best I can. He writes that no is an amazingly powerful word--maybe the most powerful one we will ever speak to another, aside from Scripture, that is (that's my opinion).

Why is no so powerful? Because then that YES will be worth so much more! We have so many opportunities in our lives to say no--no to trading carpool days, no to being on the PTA committee, no to the telephone that invades our homes in moments we doing things that benefit our families, no buying magazines from a neighbor child when we know we really shouldn't spend our money with abandon. But I am guilty of NOT saying no. I usually say yes.

I'm getting better at this. It is uncomfortable for me to say no. But if I did, then the opportunities that came along I truly would put my heart into would mean so much more. That yes would MEAN more! And I know exactly why I struggle with that. It isn't that I think I should load the grocery bag of my life full of junk food and shove it all aside to drop in one apple. I know better, so why?

It is because I know when I ask of my friends and they say no it stings. Not going to lie about it, it really does. I'm not thick skinned and I'm not as confident as I should be in my friendships to know that no isn't personal. So thus I am unable to say no when I should. I'd do a better job at the yes that came along if I truly wanted to say yes. Does that make sense?

It's my personal challenge to myself--I am going to say no. And it won't be personal, but I know my friends will feel that way. I will say no in a compassionate way but I will say no. It's not about me. It's about my family and the leftover nothings they get from me when I've thrown a whole lot of yeses into the bag. If you want a much more intelligent view on the word no, then find a second to visit Surjit. He also writes about an author who suggests starting with a yes sandwiched in between two nos--so that'd be two No's a yes, two No's. I can do this!

Right now, I'm honored to be on a committee (promotional committee--duh!)that will be doing AMAZING things with our church--now THOSE are some yeses I'm not a bit worried about. And there are some big things coming--I can't tell you now but when I can you'll get a chance to see about that church I talk so much about!


Misty Dawn said...

Ahhh, I truly have a problem with saying 'no'. I'm a 'yes' person, and I end up being taken advantage of as a result.

D... said...

I too am a 'yes' person and you are right, the 'yes' ceases to be meaningful. I often question why on earth I agreed or offered whatever it is. And people tend to take me for granted. But, like you, I hate disappointing people and I hate when I am stung. I should work on saying 'no' with you.

D... said...

Ok, Stacey, here you go, my answer... I'm struggling... the word is trying to escape my lips, I'm gong to be strong.....No, I'm sorry, my friend, I will not loan you money for Christmas. You see, it would be a rubber check if I did. It's for your own protection, really it is.

And you don't have to remove the lovely thing from your car. Unless you don't like other parents talking about you in car lines. ;)

*how'd I do on my saying "No" practice? ;)

Sharon said...

Saying no seems to be the hardest word (although Elton John would claim "sorry seems to be the hardest word"). I know for me I struggle with saying no because I think deep inside I have this huge fear of rejection. If I say no I won't be liked.

BTW, that committee you're one sounds like fun. When I decide to visit down south be sure to give me the name of your church so I can stop by and visit.

tegdirb92 said...

what a powerful post--well done!!

Kelly said...

Hi Stacey,

I was just talking on Friday about getting a sign to hang around my neck and that sign would read, "NO!" If someone asked me another favor at work, I'd not have to utter a word, just hold up the sign, which would expend less energy than vocalizing it.

I'm so glad you posted this!

Bubba's Sis said...

I'm glad you posted this, too. NO is so hard for me as well. Why is that?? It is a woman thing? A mommy thing? (Can't be that - I say NO to my kids all the time!) I need to work on saying NO also.

Girl Gone Wild said...

I'm with everyone else on this whole NO thing. I'm always afraid if I say no, then they might not ask me again later. J however has NO problem saying no. So where does that leave me? Well...I was going to be perverted, but I better say NO and not.